Tag Archives: relationships

You don’t have to spend money to show you care! Free ways to be romantic

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It’s that time of year again, when the shops deck everything out in red and pink and insist you make grand gestures of declaring your love by spending money on food, drink, and treats.

Is it just me or is it all a bit nauseating? Surely showing someone you care shouldn’t come with a price tag! What if you’d rather not spend a lot of money? Or what if you’d rather show your love in a different way? The best things in life are free after all.

Let’s take a look at some simple ways you can let that special someone know that you care, all year round.

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How to talk about money with your partner

posted by in Living with debt Leave a comment

Talk about cash without the conflict

Talk about cash without the conflict

Our Need to Sleep campaign highlighted that 7.4 million people across the UK have trouble sleeping at night because of money worries. As well as affecting your sleep, it can impact on your health, job, and relationships. In fact, almost 30% go on to say that worrying about their financial situation affects their relationship with their partner or spouse.

That’s why we’ve invited Anjula Mutanda, ambassador for the relationships charity Relate, to give us her top tips to talk about cash without causing conflict. Take it away, Anjula! Continue reading »

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How I supported my partner through redundancy

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You can get through this by working together

You can get through this by working together

Redundancy is far from a pleasant thing to deal with. That’s why it’s important that a person going through redundancy gets the support they need from their partner – emotionally as well as financially. How do I know this? Because in 2012, out of the blue, it happened to us.

I remember my husband telling me he’d been made redundant like it was yesterday. He looked so worried, so uncertain of what lay ahead. We hadn’t had any major money worries since we were students, and now it would be up to me to keep us trucking along until he found work again. I had this dull, heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking about how we would cope.

Thankfully my hubby was able to find work within a few months, but not before we learned some very valuable lessons about our finances during his time out of work.

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We ask Facebook – what would you do if your partner refused to get debt advice?

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Wake up to money worries

Few things cause conflict between a couple like debt

Long-term relationships are built on a foundation of trust, openness and a willingness to meet your other half’s needs (such as listening to their work gripes or handing over the remote when the big match is on telly).

Very often however, couples can’t see eye to eye on an array of important things, one of them being how to deal with problem debt.

Recently we spoke to a lady called Brenda (not her real name) who desperately wanted our help with the debts she and her partner had. Unfortunately, her partner was not ready to seek debt advice, something that Brenda was very upset about.

We were interested to know how our followers on Facebook would feel about this, so we asked them: What would you advise Brenda to do in this situation?

As always, our Facebook community gave us lots to think about!

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Hearts, like credit files, will mend given time

posted by in Living with debt 3 Comments

If you need someone to talk to about your relationship, Relate offer a live chat service.

Wake up to money worries

Wake up to money worries

Over the next few weeks we’ll be shining a light on how relationships and debt are intertwined.

As a debt counsellor I once put together a budget for a middle-aged single man who was entering a debt management plan (DMP). The man was happy he could live on the budget and the plan was all set to go ahead.

A couple of hours later he called back and spoke to a colleague who answered a few further questions he had. Continue reading »

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The stress when debt and relationships collide

posted by in Living with debt 2 Comments

At the root of much of the stresses of modern life are two things: money and relationships. When these go wrong, the consequences can be disastrous.

Our client Trudy is a single mum who fell into unmanageable debt a couple of years ago. She initially went with a fee-charging debt management company before speaking to us. She now sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

“It’s not the end of the world.”

– Trudy

Her problems – and those of many people we speak with – were in part caused by a breakdown of a relationship, and it nearly cost her her life.

Her experiences touch on three areas of money and relationships that cause untold stress.

1. Women are twice as likely as men to be in debt due to divorce or separation

Women, men, separation and divorce

Women twice as likely to be in debt after separation

We’ve found that divorce and separation weighs heavily on women. As this graphic shows, the proportion of women who encounter financial difficulty due to separation or divorce is almost double that of men (12.5% compared to 6.8%).

And as the woman is more likely to be the one “left holding the baby” the stress of the debt can be immense.

2. One in four clients struggled with their debts alone

One in four dealt with debts alone

One in four dealt with debts alone

Even when a relationship is strong it’s still difficult to talk about money. As the above graphic shows, 25% of people suffer alone, unable to talk with anyone about their debts. This can be through being single (like Trudy), or being afraid of what the truth will do to the relationship.

An interesting example of this is the number of DMP clients who don’t receive our monthly newsletter. Tens of thousands don’t receive our emails because they’ve indicated that their partner is unaware of their predicament and want to keep it secret from them. While this number has fallen in recent years there is still a large minority of our clients who keep their debt problem quiet.

Keeping debts from loved ones heightens stress levels even further, multiplying mental health issues.

3. Almost half of debtors wait more than a year after realising their debts are a problem before seeking professional debt help

Nearly half of debtors waited a year

Nearly half of debtors waited a year

Finally, there’s the stress over the delay in searching for debt help. As we’ve talked about before, 45% of clients waited over a year before seeking debt help.

That meant that they suffered for a year or more, racking up interest and charges, before they contacted a debt organisation.

Again, this impacts negatively on mental health.

4. We were contacted by over 350,000 people in 2011

We were contacted by over 350,000 people last year

We were contacted by over 350,000 people in 2011

The important outcome was this: We were contacted by over 350,000 people last year, of which Trudy was one. These people were living under the stress of debt, some of them made worse by the stress of relationship breakdown, keeping quiet, or brushing the issue under the carpet.

We can help you if you have a debt problem, and by doing this we can help relieve some of the stress associated. If you don’t want to talk with anyone, use our online advice service Debt Remedy. After you finish Debt Remedy you can to use our Wellbeing tool, to help you assess the current state of your mental health.

Don’t let stress worsen your existing debt problem. We helped Trudy and over 350,000 others last year. We can help you.

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We got a joint loan – now we’ve split who has to pay?

posted by in Living with debt 16 Comments

Splitting up

What does a relationship break up entail for your finances?

We get asked the above question a lot, so we thought we’d clear up the debt law around joint loans, also about what it means being a guarantor on a loan or credit product.

If you take out a joint loan with someone, you are both ‘joint and severally liable’ for the repayment of the whole amount.

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